After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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