So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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