I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
