Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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