alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
