last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
