I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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