So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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