everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
