There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
