God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
