Farmville is her only friend.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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