I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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