nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
