Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
