Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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