I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
