Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
