i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
