idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
