it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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