Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
