i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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