I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
