trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
