I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
operation have a gay friend backfired
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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