Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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