I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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