I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
