i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
