i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
not ubering you a puppy
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
