i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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