Me too!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
