i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
