I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
