If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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