accomplished twins. life is a go
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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