whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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