So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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