what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
