I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
