either way he was missing a nipple.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
