Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
