so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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