Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
