I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
