no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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