Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
