Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
