Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I love having hate sex.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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