I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My vagina is officially offended.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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