I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
