it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
