It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
