I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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