he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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