erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
